THE SETTING
Eastern region of the globe
THE CONVERSATION INVOLVED
1-3-1:
an elderly person (B.O.J),
three other older folks (Phazie, Huda and Tizho)
a younger person (Leu)
B.O.J, a powerful industrialist and a famous philanthropist had experienced a number of setbacks that affected most of his investments, causing heavy losses partially due to a number of external factors. He resolved to maintaining a low profile for some time in order to make an appraisal.
He opted for a holiday resort somewhere at one of the country’s sea sides. It was not an unfamiliar place because he had used the destination several times. In fact, the deputy – manager of the center, Mr. Leu was his personal friend and always helped to arrange a lodging upon advance notice from Mr. B.O.J.
While there, a few of his associates (specifically 3), paid him a visit. Leu was with the grief-stricken B.O.J, attending to him personally, going out occasionally and returning from time to time. In essence, he was within reach and heard most of the conversation between him and his visiting three friends.
After about 3 hours, what was supposed to be a consolatory meeting had almost turned into a fight – tempers were raised, accusations and counter accusations characterized tore through the once quiet space!
Mr. Leu quickly approached them from where he was.
“Sorry sirs, I couldn’t help but seek your permission to offer some comments on what you have been discussing since.
“Preference is supposed to be given to the senior ones in age and experience. However, I think as young as I am, I should come in at this point.
“So much has been said for a couple of hours that you all have been talking, and I am not totally unknown to all four of you, as you have been my regular guests in the past.
“Please pardon me if you feel irritated by my intervening in your conversation. To you, Messrs. Tizho, Phazie and Huda, I think that your conclusions are quicker than necessary. They lack merit. You have all said something is wrong, but you are yet to say what is the right alternative. You have not told your friend what can be put right.
“Based on that perspective by you my chiefs, your friend feels embittered. He doesn’t see why you should be here talk less of listening to what you are saying.
“He has told you regarding the crashes and losses on his entire fortune, that all his records were intact. He’s given you all the breakdown and analysis with detailed facts. None of you has addressed him based on his presentations.
“For a man who has lost so much and is still hurting, it is ill-timed to begin to accuse him of where or what he did not do right. Should it be so?
“I put it to you dear elderly ones, that you have only been hearing but not listening to him. This is why Mr. B O J feels aggrieved.
(Mr. Leu’s phone rang at that point)
“Please I need to leave now but my simple advice to you sirs is:
“Hear and also listen. Essentially, I am saying it is not enough to know that someone is talking, more importantly, concentrate on what he is saying and process it well. If you do so, you will stop reacting, instead you will respond.
“Thank you for your time”.
